You are exactly

You are exactly the gentleman i want, spoke the other and as to men and meat, i may mention, general, that i have numerous ships at my command, and provisions without stint. And there are at least ten thousand vagabonds, whom, heaven knows, the city would be well rid of and these, being officered by well starved members of the legal profession, whose name is legion, can be got to do the fighting for the mere love they bear such amusement. Indeed, general, i am no prophet, or the appearance of such an army would soon frighten the king out of his kingdom, which would be a blessing, seeing that it would save so much blood. First disorganize the judiciary, then

secure the success

secure the success of my enterprise. Truly, sir, interposed the general, somewhat surprised at the hugeness of glanmoregains desires, i hold it no man is more capable of undertaking what you desire, for god has given me talents which have served me in war, and i have been careful not to abuse them in peace. Let me then have men and meat, and, if you please, a few of those gifts men so much covet, and i warrant you i make the glory all your own. Say but the word, and it will not be long before i have this king you speak of hung to the first tree, and myself elected in his place.

higher consideration than

higher consideration than that given to his fellow adventurer, whom he would hang to the nearest tree with as little scruple as he would eat his breakfast. And now, sir, resumed glanmoregain, i have described the kingdom of the kaloramas to you, and also the immense advantages it possesses. To be honest with you, then, i desire to gain possession of it, which i take it will be no hard matter, provided the general who engages in my service be capable of outwitting his rivals. And as each keeps a general and a poet of his own, i am resolved to outdo the rest by having a general and two poets, which surely will

political aspect, had

political aspect, had furnished a grand theme for a comedy of modern diplomatic errors, in the performance of which numerous clever gentlemen had found much innocent recreation, though not a man had been found capable of solving the plot to the satisfaction of the spectators. In fine, what caused so much longing after, and so many evil eyes to be cast upon this little kingdom of the poor kaloramas, was the fact that it had within itself a great highway, over which the commerce of two oceans passed. And such were the advantages held out by a monopoly of this highway, that each claimant stood ready to censure the ignorance of the government that doubted his right to

only serves as

only serves as a prey to that which is nationally strong, so the poor, emaciated kaloramas had for years been a prey to the avarice of rival adventurers, who, in that spirit which arrogance always asserts over ignorance, would make their king a puppet and themselves mere vassals. And this the wily adventurers did, by professing great friendship for the king and his people, then setting up a fictitious claim to a voice in the affairs of the kingdom, and finally demanding for such service, which any knave or fool might have rendered, not one, but all his islands. In truth, the kingdom of the kaloramas, though insignificant in its own

Pekleworth glanmoregain, i

Pekleworth glanmoregain, i must mention here, was a man who had become famous in commerce, and had large possessions. But these he was not content to enjoy, but sought to increase his wealth by means our forefathers would have characterized with much severity. There was, according to pekleworth glanmoregain, a territory somewhere on the spanish main, familiarly known as the kingdom of the kaloramas. The kaloramas were an inoffensive people, who had been much degraded by intestine wars, and were so low in the scale of physical and intellectual quality as to enlist in their behalf the sympathies of the powerful and magnanimous. But as that which is nationally weak

Pray, remember, said

Pray, remember, said he, in a voice indicating great anxiety, that if i have not much of the worlds riches, i am at least an honest man, which is saying something, as things go. I may say, too, that i set some value upon my military reputation therefore, let what you have to offer be such as it will not lower my reputation to accept. To tell you the truth, sir, i have a foreign mission in my eye, and am sure of getting it when i go to washington, since my qualifications are not a whit behind any of them. Bury your misgivings, i enjoin you, replied the stranger, for i am a responsible man, and the service i require of you is highly

keepums in the

keepums in the strapsis, i do declare gadsden and he bought a lot of niggersa monster drove of em, on shares. He wants that trifle of borrowed moneymust have it. Can have it back in a few days. Bless me, interrupts the old man, confusedly, but off my little things it will be hard to raise it. Times is hard, our people go, like geese, to the north. They get rid of all their money there, and their fancyyou know that, mr. Snivelis abroad, while they have, for home, only a love to keep up slavery. I thought it would come to that, says mr. Snivel, facetiously. The antiquarian seems bewildered, commences offering excuses that rather

you out, with

you out, with a view to engaging your services in carrying out a great project i now have on hand. But what passes between us i desire shall be kept a profound secret for the present, since events mature with such a rapidity at this day that it is impossible to keep track of them. The stranger paused and cast a scrutinizing glance at the general, who was surprised and astounded at the vagueness of his speech. Indeed, he began to have a suspicion that the stranger was on an errand of evil, or, perhaps, had come to engage his services in some unholy enterprise, such as poisoning an heir or giving false evidence.


selfintroduction i see, sir, replied the general, that you are a man of quality. Keep your seat, then, and accept my assurances of good faith in whatever it may please you to offer. My name, resumed the stranger, his stately figure and frank, open countenance, forming a curious contrast to the rotund figure of the general, is pekleworth glanmoregain, so well known in the world of commerce that i apprehend it is not the first time you have heard of me. The general bowed. Your fame as a military man having come to my knowledge, as also your ability for statesmanship, i have sought

and the gallows

and the gallows will put a sudden end to their career. Thou hast shared my trials in many an expedition, and it is my intention that thou share many more. In this manner the general continued to condole old battle, until the grooms forgot their grief, and were well nigh splitting their sides with laughter. Leaving his horse, the general returned to his rooms, and found a stranger awaiting him. The importance of my mission, sir, spoke the man, who arose to his feet with great dignity of manner, and was evidently a man of much circumstance, is the best apology i can offer for this

He therefore repaired

He therefore repaired to the stable, where a scene so truly affecting took place, that the grooms had great difficulty in restraining their tears. No sooner did old battle hear his masters voice, than he began neighing, when his master, in return, patted and caressed him as if he had been a child. In truth, the animal was much bruised about the knees and face, and altogether presented a figure sorry enough to enlist the sympathy of any kind gentleman. It was no fault of yours, my true, my faithful friend, said the general, patting him on the neck and fondling him. The ragged urchins did it all, and if their parents be not careful the devil

with one or

with one or two slight misfortunes, but as they are such as all great politicians and military men must expect to meet, i will say no more about them. Heaven bless you and the children, is the sincere wish of your affectionate husband, roger sherman potter. P.s. Excuse my brevity, dear polly, as i am much pressed with public affairs. Old battle is well, but served me a scurvy trick only a day or two ago. Having sealed and despatched this letter to the post office, general potter suddenly remembered that he had not seen his faithful horse since the accident in broadway that had so nearly cost him his life.

down the amount

down the amount of the closing engagement, and produced a paper which proved to be a rengagement at an advance of terms, that so completely satisfied the general, that he signed it without further hesitation. The showman being a advocate of temperance, declined general potters invitation to join him over a punch and being a man of business, took his departure as soon as he had perfected the rengagement, promising to keep the pigs birthplace and antecedents a profound secret. And when he was gone, the general took fifty dollars of the money paid him, and sate down to write the following letter in reply to that received from his wife polly st. Nicholas

hotel, new york,

hotel, new york, june, 185. My dear wife polly your letter is just received, and grieves me enough, god knows. You must know, dear polly, that riches are not got in a day, nor is fame gained in a week, though a man may be popular and not have money enough to get a shilling dinner. And truly, since i arrived here, so much honor has been showered upon me that my shoulders are scarce broad enough to carry it all. As for those who make up the government of this great city, i have come to think they are not to be trusted for if my good nature would recompense them for the respect they have shown me, my common sense is not to be shut up

showman understand the

showman understand the instincts of critics, as well as the beauties of his art, that he produced the scene with the merits of a poem called hiawatha under consideration. Each pig waited the signal of approval or disapproval from duncan, and according to his verdict, either fell upon and grievously soiled the poem, or grunted in one string of praise as they danced round it. And the audience understanding the logic of this, the performance proved highly entertaining. Indeed, renowned tragedians, very popular low comedians, leading business ladies, whose fame had been made for twenty years, and singing ladies who hailed from no less a place

himself and maria

himself and maria put an end to the conversation by ringing the bell, commanding the old servant to hasten dinner. A plate must be placed at the table for tom. The antiquarian, having, as he says, left the young people to themselves, stands at his counter furbishing up sundry old engravings, horsepistols, pieces of coatofmail, and two large scimitars, all of which he has piled together in a heap, and beside which lay several chapeaus said to have belonged to distinguished britishers. Mr. Soloman suddenly makes his appearance in the little shop, much to mr. Mcarthurs surprise. Sayold man. Centurion. He exclaims, in a maudlin laugh,

show how the

show how the body politic and nation of england acquired it. Our ancestors supposed it was acquired by neither and, therefore, they declared, as we have before quoted from your history, that saving their actual purchase from the natives, of the soil, the dominion, the lordship, and sovereignty, they had in the sight of god and man, no right and title to what they possessed. How much clearer then, in natural reason and equity, must our title be, who hold estates dearly purchased at the expense of our own, as well as our ancestors labor, and defended by them with treasure and blood.

curious in natural

curious in natural history should lose the opportunity of witnessing his performances. And in order to diversify these distinguished and very popular entertainments, the clever showman had introduced a piece called evenings with the critics, in one scene of which was presented a litter of nine precocious pigs, habited in bright, colored mantles, and seated on seats forming a semicircle, with duncan in ducal robes seated on a throne, and presiding with the gravest demeanor. The nine small pigs were supposed to represent various members of the critic tribe, while duncan, who was in spectacles, personated doctor easley. And so cleverly did the

gained, and now

gained, and now that my hand is almost upon a mission, which will repay for all my disappointments, it will not do to walk back into the house and shut the door. Thus the hero reasoned within himself. It was true, old battle was eating his head off. But the pig had made a wonderful sensation, and so crowded the house every night as to demonstrate the fact that first rate talent of every kind was highly appreciated in new york. The critics, with scarcely a dissenting voice, had declared the pig a marvel, a profound embodiment of talent, one of the wonders of the age an animal possessed of such rare gifts that no lover of the